Re-reading the Book of Mormon as a former Mormon - 1 Nephi

In the past, I've read through sacred texts of other religions to provide some of my thoughts.  I've found a lot of beauty in Zen Buddhism, the Bhagavad Gita, the Tao Te Ching or the Dhammapada, while pretty easily being able to disregard the parts of those texts that I found problematic or less than inspired.  I've wanted for some time to re-read the Book or Mormon in a similar light, but I've struggled with attempts to do this as I read through the texts and naturally hone in on all of the problems of the text based my own history with the text and the religion.  I'm trying again to make an attempt at reading the Book of Mormon and trying to focus on what positive messages I can take from the text while trying to let go of the problems and less-than-inspiring parts. 

Challenges

I re-read through the first of the fifteen books of the Book of Mormon again today, 1 Nephi - putting my notes as I read in this google sheet. I tried to maintain a positive attitude toward the text that once meant a lot to me and still means a lot to much of my extended family, but still struggled with much of the text.  I noticed that a lot of the verses I had highlighted in my believing days no longer resonated as they once did such as the repeated message that those who believe in God and keep God's commandments will be rewarded and those that don't will suffer - messages that don't mean as much to an agnostic who finds value in some Christian teachings but does not believe in most of the standard dogma of Christianity. I similarly struggled with trying to read the Quran as it shared the same disdain for unbelievers in Allah. I also struggle with the main character and narrator, Nephi, who comes off as arrogant and self-righteous and not surprisingly isn't well liked by his less-believing brothers.

Positive Messages

Trying to put those initial differences aside though, there are still a lot of positive messages that can come from the first book.  There are repeated themes around positive desires, maintaining a positive attitude and mindset in spite of challenges, and the importance of gratitude.  I also found less traditional messages from the text such as the importance of adding a female or outside perspective to cool off challenging situations (1 Nephi 7:19) or if people are properly aligned ahead of time on incentives, they are more likely to cooperate in support of a common goal with less complaining (1 Nephi 7:2-3, Laman and Lemuel do not complain about going back to Jerusalem the second time), go hiking more (1 Ne 11:1, 1 Ne 17:3, 1 Ne 18:3), people are more supportive when they are not hungry (1 Ne 16:9 vs 1 Ne 17:2).

I also found it interesting to reflect on the tree of life visions in the book - the "iron rod" that leads to the "tree of life" though I now have different perspectives on what would be the guiding principles or "iron rod" that lead toward positive fruit.  What are the pitfalls that I should watch out for from a secular perspective that may lead away from my goals and aspirations?  How can I be productive in sharing my beliefs with those who disagree with them rather than just wasting time mocking or pointing fingers? 

Overall Thoughts 

I think I will continue through my re-read of the Book of Mormon, thought likely will take it at a slower pace than today reading through all of 1 Nephi, and I need to always at least start in a positive mindset and take breaks.  I found myself more and more critical as I continued to read and was worn down by the seemingly constant us vs them rhetoric. I want to try to maintain a positive attitude toward the text and try to focus on the positive messages.  I've also given myself permission to skip over the Isaiah sections - they're very difficult to understand, I didn't find a whole lot of value of those as a believing member, and I can read the texts in the Hebrew Bible and from better translations and scholarship for better context.  I also probably need to come up with some kind of way for allow myself to find meaning in the "believe in God and Jesus or suffer in hell" rhetoric since it dominates the narrative.  Maybe I can replace "God" with attributes that many Christians attribute to God and which I believe in strongly such as love or compassion, or think of the references to hell and suffering in a light similar to dhukka from secular Buddhism - more of a mental state than an eternal destination, but I think I may just have to skip over some of the preachy us vs them sections as I try to find the practical applications that can actually add value to my life.