Thrive Day 2019
Today I attended a conference in Salt Lake called Thrive, which a group dedicated to providing healing, joy and community to those who have or are transitioning from Mormonism. (See website here)
Deconstructing one's faith system can be an incredibly emotional and challenging experience that is often referred to as a "dark night of the soul." In processing the grief associated with losing one's beliefs, there can be significant anger, frustration and pain in learning new things that contradict the narratives you always accepted as true. Many have feelings of being lost, confused, broken and often have no one they can safely turn to. Doubt is seen as a disease and loved ones that want to help either don't know how to help, are eager to bear their testimony at them, and try to "fix" them rather than seeking understanding. And in all honesty, when someone is in the "anger" stage of grief, they are difficult to talk to and frequently make mistakes in how they communicate that reflect that anger and pain they have experienced.
Thrive is a new community established this year to help alleviate much of this pent up frustration and anger many feel toward the Church. It is not a community formed to bash the LDS faith or any other faith tradition. It does, however, provide a community of others who understand the pain of a faith crisis. It is intended to help them better communicate with their believing friends while maintaining healthy boundaries and moving forward with their lives in a healthy and productive way.
More than anything, the message of Thrive is "you're not alone." Today, there were approximately 1,700 people gathered at the Salt Palace conference center in Salt Lake with a common purpose to seek healing and growth after leaving the LDS faith tradition (there were also a handful of believing spouses there for moral support). Another goal of Thrive is to encourage more community among those who have transitioned from Mormonism with localized support groups meeting on a regular basis.
I felt today that I had found a group of people who understood me even if each individual story was different. Some of the speakers made me laugh and some made me cry as they shared their experiences that resonated so strongly with my own experience. A post-Mormon meet-up group from Ogden sitting in the row behind me noticed that I had come by myself and invited me to join them for lunch. I didn't know any of them, but in sharing our stories, I felt like I deeply understood them and they understood me.
I loved today listening to the story of Amber Scorah, who recently wrote a memoir called "Leaving the Witness" about her life as a devout Jehovah's witness and the consequences she experienced in leaving her faith. While Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons are very different in many ways (she referred to Mormons as having been her "nemesis" - the competition in the mission field), the experience of deconstructing one's views on the nature of reality and making the decision to leave that behind were all too familiar.
John Hamer, a seventy in Community of Christ (formerly RLDS) also spoke and offered some insight on challenging assumptions and narratives in the post-Mormon community. He offered what seemed to be a sustainable version of Mormonism - one accepting of all beliefs and traditions and open to seeking and understanding truths beyond one's own tradition.
Other presenters included Natasha Helfer Parker (licensed sex therapist), John Dehlin (Mormon Stories Podcast), Hans Mattsson (former LDS Seventy and Second Anointing recipient), Stephanie Larsen (founder of Encircle), a musical presentations from Mindy Gledhill (former EFY singer), and a few others. Each shared their unique perspectives and insights in how they had sought healing post-Mormonism.
Deconstructing one's faith system can be an incredibly emotional and challenging experience that is often referred to as a "dark night of the soul." In processing the grief associated with losing one's beliefs, there can be significant anger, frustration and pain in learning new things that contradict the narratives you always accepted as true. Many have feelings of being lost, confused, broken and often have no one they can safely turn to. Doubt is seen as a disease and loved ones that want to help either don't know how to help, are eager to bear their testimony at them, and try to "fix" them rather than seeking understanding. And in all honesty, when someone is in the "anger" stage of grief, they are difficult to talk to and frequently make mistakes in how they communicate that reflect that anger and pain they have experienced.
Thrive is a new community established this year to help alleviate much of this pent up frustration and anger many feel toward the Church. It is not a community formed to bash the LDS faith or any other faith tradition. It does, however, provide a community of others who understand the pain of a faith crisis. It is intended to help them better communicate with their believing friends while maintaining healthy boundaries and moving forward with their lives in a healthy and productive way.
More than anything, the message of Thrive is "you're not alone." Today, there were approximately 1,700 people gathered at the Salt Palace conference center in Salt Lake with a common purpose to seek healing and growth after leaving the LDS faith tradition (there were also a handful of believing spouses there for moral support). Another goal of Thrive is to encourage more community among those who have transitioned from Mormonism with localized support groups meeting on a regular basis.
I felt today that I had found a group of people who understood me even if each individual story was different. Some of the speakers made me laugh and some made me cry as they shared their experiences that resonated so strongly with my own experience. A post-Mormon meet-up group from Ogden sitting in the row behind me noticed that I had come by myself and invited me to join them for lunch. I didn't know any of them, but in sharing our stories, I felt like I deeply understood them and they understood me.
I loved today listening to the story of Amber Scorah, who recently wrote a memoir called "Leaving the Witness" about her life as a devout Jehovah's witness and the consequences she experienced in leaving her faith. While Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons are very different in many ways (she referred to Mormons as having been her "nemesis" - the competition in the mission field), the experience of deconstructing one's views on the nature of reality and making the decision to leave that behind were all too familiar.
John Hamer, a seventy in Community of Christ (formerly RLDS) also spoke and offered some insight on challenging assumptions and narratives in the post-Mormon community. He offered what seemed to be a sustainable version of Mormonism - one accepting of all beliefs and traditions and open to seeking and understanding truths beyond one's own tradition.
Other presenters included Natasha Helfer Parker (licensed sex therapist), John Dehlin (Mormon Stories Podcast), Hans Mattsson (former LDS Seventy and Second Anointing recipient), Stephanie Larsen (founder of Encircle), a musical presentations from Mindy Gledhill (former EFY singer), and a few others. Each shared their unique perspectives and insights in how they had sought healing post-Mormonism.
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